There are many ways to tell if a guy is gay or not. And here in beautiful Las Islas Filipinas, most people find it easy. Of course, the trusty (or rusty) gaydar claimed to be possessed by many of us, is one of them. For those who don’t have a gaydar, there are other ways.
I remember asking a series of questions (which, now, I find overly illogical as the answers will give me a hasty generalization of the person’s sexuality) about the guy-in-question’s interests and lifestyle. Oh how I love stereotyping!
- Does he know how to play basketball? (If not, he is gay)
- Does he play volleyball and is he very good at it? (Gay!)
- Does he like Mariah, Madonna, Regine, Lani, Cher (sama na natin si Lola to cover all bases)? (Need I say more?)
- Does he love cooking? (Debatable)
- Is he a big fan of musicals and theatre? (uhm… ate Lea?)
- Is he very vain and/or neat? (Debatable)
- Does it take him more than 5 minutes to fix his hair? (okay, 6 minutes, he’s still straight. A second more then hello gaylandia!)
- Does he immediately shift to a different topic when the question of sexuality is asked? (Uhm, next question please)
- Does he have a goodlooking guy for a “best friend”? (Oh i love hot best friends!)
- Does he love shopping? (Semi-kinda debatable)
These were my standard questions. And if the answer is an affirmative for at least 4 or 5 questions, then I would come to the conclusion that Mr. Straight Guy is a PLUS. PLUS is the term I use for gay men. Most of gay men here in the country only use PLU (each letter pronounced individually) but I’d rather use PLUS as it is less obvious to people with very discerning ears.
So back to my questions. These are very hasty generalizations. Of course, at one point or another, these may have been successful in determining gayness. But it doesn’t happen all the time. You see, I am a hasty gayneralist - I generalize hastily when branding men as PLUS. Oh yes, I’m a big fan of stereotyping!
I don’t have enough credibility to instantly tell if a guy is straight or not just by getting 10 facts about the guy. Sure, I can do what Malcom Gladwell calls thin-slicing, but I’m no good at it when it comes to thin-slicing gay men. You see, I have this penchant for branding all hot men as gay. It’s called wishful thinking.
And just to prove how unreliable my questions above are, I answered it myself (looking back at the time when I was still in the closet) and out of the 10 questions, only 2 or 3 were true for me:
- Yes, I used to play Basketball! (Not gay)
- Nope. No Volleyball for me (Not gay)
- I never really liked Mariah, in fact I hated her (I think I still do). I only liked Madonna in recent years. And please, don’t even get me started on Regine Velasquez! (Totally straight, dude!)
- I love cooking fried eggs, hotdogs, ham, instant noodles. I don’t know how to cook, and if I can have it my way all the time, I’d rather have food take-out or delivered. (not gay)
- Not really a big fan. But I could sing all the songs (very badly though) in Evita, Miss Saigon, The Phantom of the Opera, Fiddler on the Roof, West Side Story, and a few more. I was forced to memorize them all since I grew up waking up to those “soundtracks” every single day! (First Gay Point)
- Not totally vain, but yes, I was quite neat. (Gay Point 2)
- It normally took me 10 minutes to fix my hair (Gay Point3)
- Nope. I was fine with sexuality talks. (Not Gay)
- I was the goodlooking guy best friend, or so I wanted to believe! (not gay)
- I only loved shopping after I cam out (Not gay!)
So thats 3 out of 10. Had I answered these questions 
5 years ago, I would have been considered straight. This just proves that my self-proclaimed foolproof theory was a hoax!
There really are many ways to skin a cat or spot a gay man! And hasty gayneralizations are still up and about in this land. In this day and age, I think it’s gotten more difficult to tell who’s a PLUS and who’s not.
Oh, and yeah, a girl just asked me in disbelief over the weekend that if I’m gay, why don’t I know how to play volleyball! San ka pa!
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30 Comments Received
April 25th, 2007 @9:47 am
[1] I don’t know how to play basketball. I fact, I don’t even watch basketball. I just like looking at the players. (Gay!)
[2] I looove volleyball and was the class MVP in grade 7. (Gay!)
[3] I like only a couple of Mariah, all Madonna, no Regine, no Lani, a little of Cher. (An uber-Madonna fan!)
[4] I can’t cook to save myself. (Not gay!)
[5] I am a fan of musicals (some bore me), but a bigger fan of the theatre. (Gay!)
[6] My vanity is not manifested on neatness or my looks. (Not gay!)
[7] My hair is short, so it takes less than 5 minutes to fix it. (Not gay!)
[8] When I was still in the closet, I pretended to enjoy talking about sexuality so as to make me look cool and not halata. (Gay! But an excellent actor!)
[9] Yes! I was crazy in love with my mestizo best friend. When I told him, that ended our friendship for good. Sigh. (Gay!)
[10] I don’t really relish shopping. I go straight to what I need to buy and that’s it.
I’m curious, AJ. How come (sings) “your mornings were alive / with the sound of musicals!” (stops singing) when you were growing up?
April 25th, 2007 @2:31 pm
Okay, let me answer too… hehe..
(1) I don’t know how to play basketball but I was forced by the circumstances to play once in my life — imagine how bad that play had been. Oh, and I love a few good-looking players from Ateneo, haha. (Gay!)
(2) I don’t play volleyball. I can’t even manage to bring the ball over the net! (Not Gay!)
(3) I used to like only two songs of Mariah and Regine, but I don’t really like them. (Can be straight?)
(4) I love cooking pasta and I would love to try baking (Gay)
(5) I love theater and musicals! (Gay)
(6) I’m a little vain, although lately na lang nag-start, hehe. (Debatable)
(7) It takes me around 5 minutes to fix my short hair. (Not Gay)
(8) I’m uncomfortable when the topic is sexuality. (Gay)
(9) I was in love with my closest friend–gwapo ito–way back in college, but when he found out I’m gay, he became distant. (Gay)
(10) I hate shopping! (Not Gay)
So there… hehe… By the way, AJ, ayos yung PLUS ah… Hindi nga masyado halata.
April 25th, 2007 @4:27 pm
hell, i used to think gay men are smart, (could be street-smart or booksmart but gay men were one-way or another smart) but after reading a few g4m profiles and actually talking to the bunch of young gay men..ugh! you’d wonder if you’re the only brunette at the table.
April 25th, 2007 @9:07 pm
I’ll bring this list around!
April 25th, 2007 @10:05 pm
dami namang kwistyon. tanunging mo na lang kung gusto nila sa tumbong. joke.
wb AJ.
April 26th, 2007 @4:06 am
1) I played basketball for my PE class. Never liked it (although I shot a freethrow).
I am quick to answer that I’m gay, even at times when I “act straight.”
2) I don’t play volleyball, at all.
3) I like Kylie Minogue, also considered as a gay icon.
4) I cook. It’s a family skill.
5) Not a big fan of musicals, but I like watching theater.
6) I’m not that vain.
7) I usually let my hair as it is, but when I apply hair products it usually takes quite a while.
9) Although I was close with some good-looking guys, my (late) best friend is a trangender female.
10) I shop for essentials, clothing not much.
Magulo ang score ko…basta maganda pa rin ketch.
April 26th, 2007 @6:29 pm
I always see that Ernie on most of your pics lately. It’s getting a liiiittttlllleee creepy now dude! Who does it represent? A special somebody gave it to you I bet! LOL
April 27th, 2007 @10:31 am
1. I used to, when I was a kid. Now, not anymore.
2. Nope.
3. I admit. I’m a Mariah fan. O sige, stone me to death na. Just don’t hit my face.
4. No, not really
5. Not really too.
6. Hmm, hindi rin masyado, unless there’s a reason to be vain.
7. No
8. Medyo
9. Well, hmm. I have good looking guy friends but none of them are my best friends. So I say no.
10. Yes.
April 27th, 2007 @12:39 pm
1. I don’t know how to play basketball. I don’t like to watch the game. I don’t even understand why people spend time watching it. I really think it’s a total waste of time. (Gay!)
2. I like volleyball. I’m not really good at it, but it is one sport I would want to play. (Gay!)
3. I like to listen to Lani & Madonna. (Gay!)
4. I don’t know how to cook. (Not Gay!)
5. I don’t like musicals. BORING! (Not Gay!)
6. I am vain. (Gay!)
7. I’m semi-kalbo. (Not Gay?)
8. I’m not uncomfortable when the topic is sexuality. (Not Gay!)
9. I was caught hugging my ‘bestfriend/boyfriend” by our friends. Kasi nakatulog kami pareho sa kalasingan, we ended up hugging each other while sleeping, and everyone else was looking at us pala..Hahaha (That was soooo gay!)
10. I don’t spend much time shopping for clothes, Books? YES! (Gay? NO! Geek? YES!)
Five(5) out of ten(10)! I am fucking sooo gay! LOL
April 27th, 2007 @3:21 pm
1. Only played basketball as a requirement in PE.
2. Loved playing volleyball (when I was a kid - now it’s badminton, which is noveau gay sport and muay thai) c”,)
3. Don’t like Mariah (ughhh, her style is so trashy) - like Lani, Madonna, Barbra, Bette, Cyndi.
4. I can’t cook gourmet but I make a mean adobo and leche flan to-die-for.. c”,)
5. I only discovered musicals recently (thanks to a friend).
6. Vain to a point (I think a person should age like a great wine).
7. Done semi-kalbo-generally I wear my hair short to save on styling..c”,)
8. I’m comfortable with sex, sexuality, and sexually explicit conversations(with the right people, of course)
9. My best friend is good looking… *
10. I like shopping-not window shopping…
11. I have a partner of 3 years (my best friend*) - perhaps this is my most obvious trait as a gay man..
April 28th, 2007 @6:35 am
1. Not gay. I play basketball. I’m da only one in our gaykadas who watches NCAA
2. Not gay. I don’t like volleyball at all.
3. Kinda gay (1.5/5) Don’t like Mariah. Like Madonna. I don’t even know Regine. Who’s Lani? Love Cher..
4. Not gay. I swear you are soooo gonna drag me to court if I cook.
5. Very gay. Love broadway.
6. Not gay. Not vain but neat.
7. Not gay. A splash of wooottah in ma hair is good enough.
8. Not gay. I can talk and be comfortable with just about anything.
9. Gay? My best friend in Manila was half-German half Filipino and the only blue-eyed blond hair Ilocano speaking in college
10. Not gay. Not very much into shopping. I know what and where to buy, pay for it and leave.
What am I? Confused? I guess. Right?
All I know is that, thanks for listing me in that column on the other page! he he he!
Basta, when I see you, I will prove to you that I am gay. Will you issue certificate if i pass? I need something to hang on my wall other than dildos. Doesn’t look very xmastree you know. I gotta get rid of them.
Nice post!
April 28th, 2007 @9:58 am
Off-topic: So when is the next podcast coming out? I wanna hear it na.
April 28th, 2007 @5:41 pm
1. I play basketball
2. I dont play volleyball.
3. I hate divas
4. I love cooking
5. I’m semi on musicals. I go out of my way to watch those that are reviewed well.
6. not vain at all.
7. I do use my mom’s blower sometimes. I hate gel.
8. I dont really skip the question (whether i’m gay or not)
9. I dont have any hot ‘best friends’
10. I hate shopping.
Well, i dont think I’m gay then.
April 29th, 2007 @4:54 am
OMG! STILL NO UPDATE? I THINK OUR FRIEND HERE IS IN LOVE….O’RIGHT AJ, TAKE YOUR TIME.
SO WHO’S THE LUCKY ONE THAT REPRESENTS ERNIE?
April 29th, 2007 @10:43 am
@McVie
sa panahon ngayon, mas gusto ko na rin panoorin yung mga players. pero ayoko ng pawisan. gusto ko pinapanood sila sa locker room!
ahhh my mornings were alive with the sound of broadway kase my older brother used to play them all the time at home.
April 29th, 2007 @10:44 am
@ian
Okay nga yung PLUS. my ex and I came up with that term (as I’m sure other people did as well) para hindi kami halatang bading in public. We had our own terms for effem, straight, caucasian, foreigners, etc).
April 29th, 2007 @10:44 am
@Powerbottom
i think the guys on g4m are blondes! Blondes have more fun indeed, but brunettes remember it the next day! hehehe
April 29th, 2007 @10:44 am
@Aileen
hehehe. wag mo sabihing sa akin mo nakuha yung list ha! hahaha. Eh puro stereotyping pa naman yung mga questions ko! hahaha
April 29th, 2007 @10:45 am
@james
heheh, i wish i could do that. kaso lang i’m shy eh *giggles*
April 29th, 2007 @10:46 am
@empress maruja
kahit anupaman ang score mo, ang mahalaga eh maganda ka pa rin! yun lang yon! hehehehe
April 29th, 2007 @10:47 am
@River
ernie is actually my travel buddy/boyfriend/secret lover! lol. i got him from a store in a mall a couple of years back.i started a travle blog for him a couple of years back but got too lazy updating it: http://andreiiandernie.blogspot.com
April 29th, 2007 @10:48 am
@Misterhubs
i won’t stone you to death naman for loving mariah! hehehe. i have friends who are mariah fans too. i hated her even more when i saw my wenty in one of her videos! lecheng hitad na yan! hehehe.
Hmmm goodlooking guy friends… baka pwede naman makishare diyan…
April 29th, 2007 @10:48 am
@oboids
five out of ten talaga! hahaha. good job naman sayo!
April 29th, 2007 @10:49 am
@Homie
hmmm how mean is the adobo? and hmmm pwede bang makatikim ng to-die-for na leche flan? hehehee
April 29th, 2007 @10:52 am
@Reyna Elena
So confused ka? Hindi ka bading? hehehe. Mukhang masyadong madami na ang iyong mga dildo. ipamahagi mo na lang yung hindi pa gamit sa mga mahihirap tulad ko. :))
April 29th, 2007 @11:14 am
@Misterhubs
next podcast? malapit na… pinapahupa ko lang ang aking ubo’t sipon, chakabelles naman kase kung singhot ako ng singhot habang nagpopodcast! heheh
May 1st, 2007 @9:22 am
OK. AJ. Gimme your snail mail address at i will send you a balikbayan box full of colorful all size fits all dildos. He He He!
I really like you, I’m buying you a house.
http://house-lot-laguna-cavite.blogspot.com/2007/04/nidana-elite-model-house.html
May 1st, 2007 @11:10 am
@Reyna elena
Ang gandang bahay naman niyan! I don’t deserve it! Charing! hehehe… kala ko yung bahay ang ipapadala mo through snail mail! hehehe. pwede ba i-resell ang mga dildos?
December 19th, 2007 @5:30 pm
Hey there,
My question is with regards to bisexuality. I’ve always felt different and I knew I was attracted to guys(more physical), but I also felt attracted to girls(more emotional). Does this make me bisexual, or am I still on my quest in becoming a full pledge homosexual?
December 19th, 2007 @11:22 pm
I’m not sure if you’re bisexual or not. I suggest that you just go through life one day at a time and it will come to you. You will know eventually if you’re gay or bi. Just keep an open mind and an open heart.
AJ’s last blog post..Bloggers Invade Red Box
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