Bakla Ako, May Reklamo?

The Fabulous Aileen tagged me on this topic: What’s your ideal guy like?

At first glance, the topic seems pretty easy to answer. Well, that’s at first glance because when I came around to thinking of traits that my ideal guy has to possess, I couldn’t come up with eight traits. Yes, you’re supposed to list eight traits that your ideal guy must have. For someone like me who has taken a hiatus on dating and has involuntarily vowed to celibacy, this is difficult!

So here goes nothing.

1. Goodlooking
I wouldn’t wanna be a hypocrite and say that it’s not about looks and that looks don’t matter. Hell they do! I wouldn’t wanna wake up next to a shar-pei-looking dude, would I? Mr. Right has to look good from whatever angle so when the paparazzi come clicking away on both of us, I wouldn’t be embarrassed to see my face beside a frug (freaking ugly) dude on the National Enquirer!

2. Independent
Independence seems like a very vague and general term. By independent, I am referring to the financial and emotional state of being. Mr. Right has to be mature enough to handle his own finances and does not depend on his parents to pay for his gas or his pad. He doesn’t need to be rich and pay for my travels (but if he is and he wants to, that will be more than welcome!) as long as he has enough money for his daily subsistence. Mr Right also has to be emotionally independent. He has to be able to decide on his own what movie we’re watching or where we’re dining. He has to be free from the dictates of his friends or family about the most crucial and most trivial decisions of his life.

3. Smart and Witty
He doesn’t have to be intelligent. There’s a big difference between being intelligent and being smart and witty. It’s okay if he goes bankrupt on Jeopardy! as long as he makes the right decisions at the right time. Being smart is being able to think outside the box. Being smart is being logical. And wit is very important. He has to know what words to say and when to say them. I talk and think as fast as the speed of light (okay, not really), so he has to be able to catch on.

4. Great Sense of Humor
Someone who appreciates a wide spectrum of humor - from the silliest jokes to the most intellectual ones (if there are such). He has to know how to put humor in every aspect of human life, because I do. Charot!

5. Good Conversationalist

If we get deserted and marooned in an island, we have to be able to do something aside from having sex on the beach, right? I’m a talker. In fact, I’m the most talkative person I know. Good conversation is very important! When Mr Right and I guest on Anderson Cooper 360, he has to be able to at least share something right? He wouldn’t want me hogging and keeping Andy to myself would he?

6. Good Command of the English Language

I’m not at expert in this language, but I implore the Gay Gods to please send me a Mr. Right who speaks good English! Well, if he’s not Filipino and is of German, Moroccan, Arabic, French, or Slavic origin, then this trait is excusable! Hehehe.

7. Understanding
Mr Right has to be able to understand that even if we’re already a couple, I am still my own person. He has to understand that I am a bitch and life is unfair and he has to live with it. He shouldn’t feel bad if I find Eric Dane hotter than he is, even if he is hotter than Eric Dane.

8. Good in Bed
Uhm…
Uhm…
Ah….

Need I say more?

Oh well, I hope this guy actually exists. If he does, could you give him the link to this blog? If you’re my ideal guy, give me a call and we’ll arrange a go-see for you! Charot!

I’m not gonna tag anyone. If you wanna do this, go! Charing!