Bakla Ako, May Reklamo?

ctuIf you take a look inside my bag,you would definitely want to turn it upside down and clear it of dirt, dust and grime (huh?). I love bags because I feel like they serve as security blankets to me. I own so many bags that it’s not funny anymore. Like with my shoes, I would have a favorite bag of the season and use it for all eternity, until I realize that I have other bags in the closet.  That or until I buy a new bag.  I’m not a big fan of expensive stuff or signatures, but if I think it is practical enough to own one, I would invest on it. 

My bag for this season is my trusty faux vintage leather manpurse (or murse, as others would call it).  I like this bag because it fits, well, almost everything I need. The only problem is that it all ends up cluttered since it only has a few pockets and compartments.  And Brad (that’s my bag’s name – courtesy of Ish) also serves as a laptop bag on occasions when I don’t feel like my laptop bag wouldn’t be too fasyon (as If no?).  And since Brad wasn’t built to be a laptop bag, he failed me on more than one occasion, giving scratches to the laptop’s surface (uhm, I don’t really mind, really…).

Ever since I was in grade school, I was always fascinated with bags.  And I would get so attracted to bags with millions of compartments.  You know those bags which have slits and pockets for pens, pencils, crayon boxes, lunch packs, and what-have-yous.  Over the years, sa I matured (beautifully, charot!), I have come up with a few things that a bag must have before I buy it: practical and affordable, value for money, comfortable, durable, a little fasyon, and of course presentable.

My current [branded] laptop backpack has it all.  Only thing is, it’s already heavy on its own and it’s quite off to bring it along with me while wearing a coat and tie, right? This is actually teh reason why I use that backpack for my laptop only when I travel.  As for everyday life right now, Brad serves me just fine.

 Last Friday, I was invited to the press launch (organized by GeiserMaclang) of Timbuk2’s Blogger Bag – along with other bloggers ( Noemi, Lauren, Jayvee, Shari, Rick, Karla, Luis, Riz, Anton, Karla) last Friday at Outback restaurant.  This bag elicited mixed reactions not only from the bloggers who were at the launch but also from the blogosphere. Read the rest of this entry »

In this episode, Baklang AJ shares songs translated into gay lingo. Brace yourself as this episode will definitely hurt your ears!

A different take on Filipino folk and contemporary songs. Let's take it to the gay level!

The Bakla Podcast 6: Kantahan Na!

Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.  ~Rainer Maria Rilk

If only we could apparate and disapparate like wizards and witches…

If only we could bend the time and space continuum like Hiro Nakamura…

If only it were that easy…

When it rains, it pours.  And here I go again battling the heavy rains coming my way. I should never had wished for it. It’s raining hard and I’m bracing myself to get drenched and end up going home alone and wet.  Wet, but alone.

So Baklang AJ hasn’t been whoring himself around the blogosphere lately, in case you didn’t notice.  Well, he took a much needed break from the Bakla Ako blog, the blogosphere, and the Internet altogether. So what has he been up to? Hmm… The whore has recently given birth to seven cute little boys all from different fathers! Here are his lovely little boys! (Guess who the father of each boy is? click photo to enlarge).

To the five of you who were wondering… My Laptop got broken. Hard Disk Crashed. Dead. I was forced to go on a hiatus and will be back soon, promise.    — Baklang AJ

Oh, and Thanks to Rocky of the Geeky Guide for his wonderful review of Bakla Ako, May Reklamo? on Pinoy Gay Blogs.  Read the review here.

Gay guys here in the Philippines have their own different dating styles (with a few who make dating a lifestyle).  There are those who use the trusty online social networking and dating sites.  Some go for the “I wont look for Mr. Right, I’ll just wait for him” style where they just sit idly and waiting for their man in shining armour to sweep them off their feet.  A handful of people I know meet the loves of their life in different places – malls, bars, bookstores, coffee shops, churches and religious service venues, and uhm… mall restrooms. Then there are those who are set-up by their friends.

Many gay men out there are unsuccessful in the dating scene.  Some of them end up being too jaded and too exhausted with dating.

And in Bakla’s efforts of going back into that dating scene, he cooked up some rules for himself, which he calls NS Vowels: Bakla’s Self-Imposed Rules on First Dates:

NS + Vowel = Rule

NSA – No Strings Attached
NSE – No Silly Expectations
NSI – No Sex Involved
NSO – No Sugar-coated Over-Impressing
NSU – No Self-Underselling

Bakla’s Self-Imposed Rules on First Dates:

No Strings Attached
A first date is just a first date.  Think of it as having dinner with a friend, or yourself. Do not get too attached with the other person. Sure there may be chances of him being Mr. Right, but don’t bank on those chances that much.  If you fall in love with this guy on the first date, you’re just fooling yourself. Regroup yourself and reorganize your thoughts.  Give it a day or two before you actually think of getting yourself attached to this guy.  And please, see NSI.

No Silly Expectations
Some of us believe in what people say “Love at First Sight.”  Although it happens to many people, it doesn’t really apply to all of us.  Some of us get too attracted by the glitter in a person’s eyes or the glitter of their cars.

Some of us tend to expect a lot when we go out on dates.  We’re always too optimistic, thinking that this could go well and that this guy is Mr. Right. We must avoid silly expectations. When we go out on dates, we must avoid thinking what it would be like if this guy we’re having dinner with right now was our boyfriend. When on a date with a guy, never play your movies (starring  yourself) in your mind.  Just get to know the guy dear.

No Sex Involved
Unless otherwise agreed-upon that this is just a one-night stand or an NSA hook-up, never have sex on the first date.  This may sound too conservative, but in my experience, equating a first date with the French Embassy is trouble. So don’t you go riding the Baloney Pony on your first date.

No Sugar-coated Over-Impressing
Do not oversell yourself.  Share things about yourself in their unadulterated form. Some of us sometimes tend to oversell ourselves, adding a little bit of exaggeration in every self-information we share.  To put it bluntly, stop pretending! Sure you might impress this guy, but your white lies may backfire and will eat you alive in the future.

No Self-Underselling
In relation to NSO above, NSU is the complete opposite.  Some people, when they go out on dates, do not share a lot about themselves.  And when faced with intimidation (i.e. uber-hot guy with exemplary achievements under his belt), we tend to just stay on the downlow and look down on ourselves.  “I guess I’m not good enough for him,” is a common afterthought and we tend to just think that we’re not good enough. Isipin mo na lang, maganda ka.

Bayombong, Nueva Vizcaya…

It’s more than just a name of a city or town, it is… masturbation. Yes, you read that right. MASTURBATION. There are many terms in Filipino, Filipino gayspeak, English and slang that are used to refer to this self-loving act. Some of the relatively uncommon terms to Filipinos are: “Calling Down for More Mayo,” “Dropping Stomach Pancakes,” “Masonic Secret Self Handshake,” “Assault on a Friendly Weapon,” and “Answer the Bone-A-Phone.” These are just some. There’s a lot more HERE (where they also have terms for female masturbation) or after the jump.

So masturbation eh? Jackin off? We all have done it. Many of us are still doing it. We’re coming clean now. Yes, we do it.

What benefits do we get from pleasuring ourselves? Well, you should know the answers to that.

Some people prefer to masturbate instead of going through all the hullabaloo of going online and looking for a hook-up. Some people, even those with partners, masturbate (and probably think of somebody else) when they’re alone. Some people masturbate because it helps them sleep. Some people masturbate in strange and weird places. Some people masturbate in front of others. Some people masturbate while watching straight porn. Some, while watching gay porn. Some people masturbate while watching talk shows. Some people masturbate in the bathroom. Some people masturbate using fleshlights or vagitoys. Some people masturbate because that’s the closest thing they can get to intimacy. Some people masturbate because they’re experimenting. Some people masturbate to show off. Some people do not masturbate at all.

Whatever our reasons for masturbating are, or wherever we do it, one thing is for sure, it is disease-free (Or is it?).

In Filipino and Filipino gayspeak, we’ll try to list as many terms as we can (with help from our dear straight and bakla friends Nick, Will, Jopai, Sanch, Chris, Danny) :

• jakol, bate, tebats, lolo (the o sound is pronounced with the same sound as the U in ube)
• bayombong, bayonic, jekjek, jeckelyn jose,
• tikol, flara, bakol, mariang palad, salsal,
• batektek, na nagiging boombatektek,
• na nagiging jaboombatektek,  bitangcol,
• emyas, flaragin, colette’s, colette’s buko pie, sariling sikap,
• bayes, yakult, baybay, laguna de baybay, bionic,
• jackie lou blanco, jackie chan, tiktilaok.
• chudenshi bioman, bioman, bio electron beam, bio big arrow, bio revolver
• farrah, farrahcat,

Know more local terms? Feel free to add them up! Lol!

The English list after the jump

Read the rest of this entry »