When do you know it’s over?  

This is a dilemma that some single gay men experience whenever they go out on dates. I am assuming that no gay man can make a clear and concise definition of dating in this gay world. It’s just… different.  And in the context of this post, let’s limit dating to the getting-to-know-you-but-no-sex-just-yet dates.  Yes, such a kind of dating lifestyle exists — contrary to popular belief.

But when do you know that you and your prospect are already over and what used to be “may lead somewhere” no longer does?  When do you know if the other party is no longer interested in the what-might-be, or worse, you?

Here are some tongue-in-cheek signs to find out when “Hopefully Mr. Right” turns into “Was Never Mr. Right” (insert Abs Bitter Herbs ad):

1. He doesn’t reply to your text messages as often as he used to.
2. His replies, if he ever does, are short, curt and impersonal.
3. When you text him you get a “Hus ds?” reply.
4. When you go out to watch a movie or have dinner, he starts talking about this hot guy cruising him in the gym.
5. He no longer offers to pay for everything.  Not even the gesture.
6. You become friends with that “The subscriber cannot be reached…” lady.
7. Your friends see him with another guy, and you tell them it’s just a friend of his.
8. You no longer see him go online on your YM friends list but his Yahoo Profile says his status is online.  Oh the powers of Stealth Settings!
9. He just stops communicating with you.
10. You see him in a bar and he obviously goes in the general direction away from you.
11. You see him making out with someone in that bar.
12. He calls you, tries to rekindle what to you seemed like flames, but merely asks for a favor. Then bye.
13. He tells you he’s seeing someone else. (wake up, grow up, tama na ang ilusyon!)

Alternatively, for those who want to dump your prospects (aka “No Way in Hell is he Mr. Right”), here are a few suggestions:

1. Tell the poor guy that it’s over and that you don’t think there’s a probability of a great relationship between the two of you.
2. Be nice when you do it. But don’t patronize the other party.  It’s not like you’re breaking up! Hello? You were never in a relationship, di ba?

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