What is it about size that makes a lot of people want big dicks? I haven’t found any studies proving or disproving the theory that Asian men have smaller cocks, but my personal experience tells me that there may be some truth to it. I don’t know about you but I’m doing fine given my “Asian” size. Why? Uhm, let’s just say that I prioritize quality over quantity. BEsides, I’m no size queen and as was divulged by Rye in their latest Pinas Podcast of the Dan and Rye Show, I only have sex at least once in five months! But to be honest, I like looking at cocks and prefer watching porn if the cock sizes are not small. They don’t necessarily have to be large or as large as the World’s Largest Cock. Just not too small.
A few weeks ago, I posted something about receiving spam emails about enlarging my cock. Yes, these people who create these spam emails are quite the creative types coming up with hilarious subject lines. I used to take note of these but lost that list. So today, when I checked my emails while reading some kwentong kalibugan on the side (yes, I’m very good at multitasking), I got distracted by the spam messages on my inbox. I listed them down and came up with this brand new list:
- Make her feel your real masculine power (uhm, you mean him?)
- Your Insatiable Chick will be full of pleasure (Chick?)
- The shortest way to a woman’s heart is a longest dick (so what is the shortest way to a gay man’s heart then?)
- True masculinity is impossible without a substantial volume of male meat (eh kung saksakan ba ng effem na malaki ang nota at bottomesa, may true masculinity pa rin?)
- Say goodbye to lonely evenings! With bigger dick you’ll always have a lady in your bed (Lady? Gross!)
- Extend your possibilities in your private life (how?)
- Increase your penile size and feel the difference (you mean you want me to fuck my self?)
- Get more pleasure in love with your new big phallus (in fairness, hindi dick or cock ang term, very technical, phallus!)
- As your dick gets larger, no woman will say no (bakla nga ako, ayoko sa babae!)
- Length and Thickness will give you more power (mala-Peter Petrelli ba na power? Go na aketch!)
- You surely deserve to be packed with larger dick (Hay scary naman nito! I don’t wanna be packed! Pack you!)
- Does your Mr. Winkie need upgrading? Our offer will interest you (software nga naman kailangan ng upgrade!)
- There are no losers among the possessors of long dicks. Now you can be one of them (seriously? eh I wanna be a loser eh!)
- For the moment it’s the best possible way to increase your penis (eh what about the next moment, iba na?)
- New natural penis-enlargement formula (hmmm, naturale!)
- Enter the world of boundless sensual enjoyments with a new big penis (ano kaya yung boundless sensual enjoyments?)
- Follow this path to reach your success in bed! (Amazing Race na itu?)
- Guys with small penis look pitiful (kawawa naman pala ako at ang amraming asyano!)
- Increasing your penile size is your sure way towards sexual health and well-being (ano daw? mas malaki tite, better health?)
- You will work wonders in bed with your new long and stiff magic love stick (Harry Potter!)
- The best juicy pussies are waiting to be drilled with your new big penis (sinabi nang bakla ako eh, kulit!)
- Have you ever felt a kiss of a womb? With your new big rod you’ll feel it! (kiss of a womb? ano yun?)
- It’s time to enlarge your penis choosing the safest, doctor-approved method! (why not tomorrow?)
- Greater size means more self-confidence? (Dr. Phil is that you?)
- Say goodbye to love failures and loneliness (hay nako, ang malalaking tite ang dahilan ng napakaraming love failures!)
- Conquer your uncertainty about your male power! (eh?)
I’m sure there’s more of these (Rico of Fool45 has more!) and I’m pretty sure they will keep coming back to haunt me. Why oh why would I want to have my penis enlarged?
