Coming Out: 2nd Anniversary

Yesterday marked the second anniversary of my coming out to my family. (Coming out story after the jump)

The past two years have not been easy for me as an out gay man, but knowing that my family is there to support me in all my endeavors sure did help a lot.

It’s not easy to come out to anyone and based on personal experience, coming out to friends is easier than coming out to family. One of my wishes this holiday season is for people to become more open-minded and accepting of the realities of sexuality. I wish that when gay men finally decide to come out, wherever they are in the world, would have the same support that my family and friends have extended to me.

Posted on my LJ a day after I came out.

So to my parents, brothers and sister, if you’re reading this (which I doubt you are, but I’ll blab on anyhow) , I’d like to thank you for making life easy for me and for being there to support me in whatever I do. Thank you.

I’d also like to thank all my friends who have helped me become confident about my sexuality and for being there through the good times and the HARD times. To you, dear readers of this blog, thank you for all the support and thank you for the friendships I have made with you. Thanks also go to members of the Filipino blogging community for being so open-minded (or at least tolerant) of all the kabaklaan of this blog.

A Year Out

Dec. 25th, 2006 at 5:14 PM

Today marks the first anniversary of my “freedom”. It’s been exactly one year (and an hour or too) since I came out to my parents.

“I just wish it was THIS easy for everyone of us. I guess I’m just lucky that I have a family like mine. We may not be emotionally open amongst ourselves, but we sure stand by each other through thick and thin.

It’s IN to be OUT!”

It was one hell of a year: twists and turns, ups and downs, tops and bottoms.
2006 was not exactly a great year for me and I’m hoping 2007 will be.
Here’s to a better and brighter 2008 for all of us! Tara na, Bakla Tayo!

coming out story after the jump

from Life’s a Beach, I’m a Bitch:

Christmas of 2005:
I took 5 days of Vacation Leave from work. I booked a trip to Davao to spend Christmas with my family. I somehow am already tired of family gatherings and parties, but this year, I wanted to go back home and tell my parents who I really am.

The days before Christmas Eve were extremely long as I was spending time with old friends, catching up on our lives. All those days were extremely longer as I was looking for a window of opportunity to come out to my folks.

Coming out is not easy. And you can never be too prepared.

We ate dinner around 8PM and I decided to go back up to my room. I just wanted to lie down, watch TV and wait for midnight. (I guess I’m too old for Christmas. I don’t really feel that sort of excitement children have - waiting for midnight to open the gifts up, then go out and play with other children.) Midnight came and went, but I was asleep. I did not get to do the traditional Christmas Midnight Noche Buena. But it did not matter.

When I got up, I carefully planned in my mind how I would tell my folks about me. Everytime I came out to someone, I made sure I broke it to them gently.

Since it was the 25th of December and the Metro Manila Film Festival Philippines already started, I quickly came up with a grand plan.

Mano Po 4: Ako Legal Wife was the only movie I planned on watching during this season’s film fest. I knew that there existed a character named Hamilton Chong (played by John Prats), a closeted gay man. This, I knew, should set the pace for me.

After the film, I brought them to Blugre Cafe (there is no Starbucks in Davao, and Blugre is the next best thing). My older brother and I brought our laptops and did some stuff for work there. The cafe had free wifi access (yes there is wifi in Davao!).

I was chatting with my boyfriend [insert ex's name] over ym. Then I went on to open his friendster account and view his pictures. My mom was curiously looking at my monitor. Then she asked who were in the pictures. “My Friends”, I quipped.

Less than five minutes later, I showed her one of Ex-boyfriend’s pix and told her that the guy was my “uyab”. Uyab is the bisaya androgynous term for BF/GF/Lover, just like the Filipino NOBYO and KASINTAHAN.

“That’s a guy.”

“Yes, he is a guy. His name’s [insert ex's name] and he’s currently in New York.”

“So you’re gay?”

“Yes, I am.”

smiles

“There he is.” I then clicked on Ex-boyfriend’s webcam window

Mom pinches my cheeks, smiling

It was that simple. No complications. She asked me a lot of questions about my bf and my life and about the “close friend” I always hung out with some two to three years ago. I told her that yes, HE was my boyfriend. Then she dropped her bomb.

“Oh, I see. I knew it.”

Then she went on smiling. My mom wears her heart on her sleeve, and I knew that she was happy. She still is. My brothers who were there just looked at HAN’s pics. My brother then made this funny remark: “So, naglaladlad ka na pala. Parang Ako Legal Wife.” Something of that sort. We all laughed.

And that was the end of it.

I am OUT and Proud.

I just wish it was THIS easy for everyone of us. I guess I’m just lucky that I have a family like mine. We may not be emotionally open amongst ourselves, but we sure stand by each other through thick and thin.

It’s IN to be OUT!

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