Bakla Ako, May Reklamo?

At the risk of getting branded as judgmental and discriminatory, we are ushering in the new year with something most people make, but do not do. Here are some resolutions that we can suggest to gay men around the country and around the world as we welcome a new year. Some of these are tongue-in-cheek suggestions and it’s up to you if you want to follow them or not. At the end of the day, it’s all about you! Life is what you make it and while you’re at it, make it good!

12 New Year’s Resolutions for Gay Men

1. Take Abs Bitter Herbs
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get over him and move on. The truth is, he’s just not into you. Take some Abs Bitter Herbs or Charantia, it’ll help you. Promise.

2. From Bi to Bi-yot
If you’re really gay and have no interest in anything related to the female reproductive organ, stop calling yourself a bisexual. Real bisexuals are those who get attracted emotionally and sexually to both male and female. If you’re discreet and straight-acting, and your greatest nightmare is having to look at a vagina, YOU ARE NOT BI! You are Bi-Yot! Bayot!

3. Hair Products: There’s Always Tomorrow
Kung makapag-hair wax ka, parang wala nang bukas! There’s always room for more hair product on your hair tomorrow.

4. Panggaperang Kuba
If you’re discreet, are in the closet, or are not that confident about your looks, just post photos of your body or any other part of it in social networking sites. It’s better that way than be a panggaperang kuba and use other people’s photos. The same goes for profile content. Be true to yourself. Tandaan, maraming pinapatay sa maling akala.

5. Sell Your Drama
We all know you have issues about your love and sex life. But stop sulking inside your closet and sell your drama. Don’t feel too sorry for yourself. Trust me, there are many others out there who have lives worse than yours. Sell your drama, write a journal, write a blog, write a book!

6. K.I.S.S.
Keep It Safe Sweetie. Sure we love having sex, we love blowing, eating, pumping, sweating, licking, gyrating, kissing, rimming, pissing, crapping, toe-loving, master-and-slaving, rubbing, munching, tuwad-ing. Whichever of these (or a combination of these) you love doing, always remember that AIDA Gonzales and other STIs and STDs are just around the corner. Use a condom. Be safe. Read about them.

7. Get Tested
Go to Makati Med, St. Luke’s, Medical City, or your neighborhood health center. Get Tested. Better safe than sorry.

8. Umayos Ka!
Look at yourself in the mirror. You do not have to be as hot and beautiful as Janvier Daily (nude or not), to feel good about yourself. Minsan, pwede rin namang umayos ng konte at maging presentable sa buhay.

9. Come Out, Come Out
If you’re scared of coming out to friends and family, do not be scared to come out to yourself. Naman! At the end of the day, you only have yourself. Accept the reality that you’re gay. Stop pretending and stop hurting people by pretending to be someone you’re not. (See number 2)

10. Take Extra
Take extra lessons, seminars or workshops on whatever field you like. Culinary arts, fashion design, automotives, cosmetology, robotics, pHp, mySQL, programming, grooming, Spanish, French, German. These will help you boost your confidence. Learn new skills. Gain extra knowledge. Make your resume powerful. Get resume service help from experts. That, or be an expert yourself.

11. Volunteer
Volunteer your services and/or time to charities or foundations. Help fight for gay rights. Join Ang Ladlad or Lagablab.

12. Spread the Love, not the Virus
Spread the love to the less fortunate. Help out other gay men who have problems coming out. Be there to support them. Help out straight men bring out their fabulousness (?), help your fag hags with their issues on love, help yourself. Show some lovin! Spread the love, not the virus!

Link:

Bookmark It