This is the song of my life.
I’ve been single for god knows how long already (I’m not complaining though) but my friends and I noticed a consistent pattern in my sordid dating life.
Many people keep on asking me why I’m still single and I must have already used up my canned replies.I mean, modesty aside and I think my mother would agree, many people (about 3, many na yon) agree that I am a good catch. But am I really?
Am I single by choice or by circumstance? You see, I’m not very lucky in the field of man-hunting. No, not meat hunting, man-hunting.
Humidity is rising - Barometer’s getting low. It’s gonna start raining men.
Whenever a I start dating someone, who at that moment I think is Mr. Right, another guy comes along. And then another, and another.
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean
This probably is the reason why I’m now used to the idea of open dating (but not open boinking). I try as much as I can to spend equal amounts of time (as if that’s possible) with each and every single guy I’m dating. And of course, I let them know that I’m also dating other men.
Besides, it’s just dating. Getting to know you chenelar chenelyn mercado. I tell them that the reason why I’m dating them is because I wanna get to know them really well (and vice-versa) to see if there is a future for us. Sometimes, people around me (not necessarily my friends) have this impression that I’m promiscuous since I’m seen with a different guy in different places. But I don’t reall care what they think, alam ko namang I’m the president of the Dry Spelling Bee Club, kahit maraming date.
Collect then Select, ika nga ng ating mga straight guy friends. And when the time comes that I fall pseudo-in-love with someone, I drop the other guys (not like a hot potato, mind you) at the next pit stop thinking that I’ve found my Neo, The One.
Then weeks (sometimes days) later, I get dumped. Well, not really dumped like dumped. Neo just disappears - leaves me hanging in the air and cuts all communication lines. “Sinong nangyari dito?” Yan ang drama ko during this post-dumping depression stage that lasts for several weeks. Then Neo calls, gives me the standard “It’s not you, it’s me” line. Then on to my second stage of depression, the finally-he-called stage. Then I move on to the last stage of depression before I hit rock-bottom, the “What’s wrong with me?” stage wherein I wallow in self-pity. Then I hit rock-bottom: Jaded.
I think there really is something wrong with me. I get attracted to men who have a penchant for undermining my capacity to understand. They always assume I’m some nitwit. Eh my mother told me that I’m smart, so I believe her instead of them. My mom is not a liar naman diba? Oh and one more thing that the guys I date have in common? They’re psychos They are full of issues and carry heavy baggage with them. But I don’t hate them. Kaya nga ako naa-attract eh, kase I have this self-serving feeling that I’m here to help (1-800-Friend) plus the fact that I have this savior complex. Ika nga ni Evita Peron:
All my descamisados expect me to outshine the enemy
I won’t disappoint them
I’m their savior, that’s what they call me
So Lauren Bacall me, anything goes
To make me fantastic, I have to be Rainbow High
In magical colors
You’re not decorating a girl for a night on the town
And I’m not a second-rate queen getting kicks with a crown
Next stop will be Europe
The Rainbow’s gonna tour, dressed up, somewhere to go
We’ll put on a show
Look out, mighty Europe
Because you oughta know whatcha gonna get in me
Just a little touch of
Just a little touch of
Argentina’s brand of star quality
Hindi ata nila feel ang star quality ko. SO there really IS something wrong with me.
