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21 Nov, 2007

You Had Me at ASL

Posted by: AJ In: Guys4Men| g4m ()

Pick-Up Lines from Guys4Men and others

On guys4men and other online gay dating sites, we exchange messages with other men. The messages vary: looking for friendship, seeking a lifetime partner, admiring photos, simply dropping by to say hi, and looking for sex.

I manage a couple (okay more than 10) profiles in different networks, and I’ve had my share of these exchanges. What strikes me most though is the weird way some people employ to get through to me. I mean I’m not a perfect catch and I’m not all that, but some people could at least use a shot of creative juice (pun not intended).

When I thought about it, I realized that it really is kind of difficult to come up with a good pick-up line when sending out messages to men I’m interested in. Whenever I see a profile with a hot guy (whom I know I can’t get), I simply say: “Whoa! What a Hottie.” Pretty lame, eh? If I’m interested in knowing the person better, I read through their text profile and find something that strikes me and start off from there. Sometimes I get too lazy but the wanting to just say hi to a guy (and stupidly hoping to get more than just a “hi” for a reply), leaves me with no choice but the cliche, “Hi there!”

However, some people just make me laugh with their one-liners! My pet peeves when receiving messages are those which sell me miniature bahay-kubos and m2m vcds or offer me massage services (overpriced pa!). Then there are those that send me Yuwie.com invites, messages using sms language, and the pa-conyo and corny pa-sweet-kolehiyala language (elow pow, wer u poe? add u me naman sa frendzter, kain na u, sex poh tayo!) Seriously, do you honestly believe people would reply to that? Oh and yeah, there are those who ask if I have a SUN number. Kebs na!

So here’s a list of actual and real messages that I’ve received:

On Friendship
I believe friendship is something that is built in time and through experience. It’s not something that we ask of someone and which we get right away. Do you come up to a person and say, “Hi, can we be friends?” I don’t, because I think that is stupid. But let’s see what other people have to say about it:

hi… wanna be frend?? | uhm, no?

hi how r u. i wana make a friend with u. do u wana chat with me. may i have ur msn. if u like u can add me mine: *******@hotmail.com | you want to have MY MSN? you want to make a friend with me? ano ako, factory?

hey can we be friends +0928******* (name) | so you expect me to be friends with you by you giving me your number?

nice profile…im (name) 36 …qc …can we be friends?905******* …..let’s have some cffee date someday | thanks, see you someday!

hi there, im (name) from (far-away place) can u be my friend? just read my profile if u want… i’ll just attach my e-mail address…ok? thanks in advance… ^_^ | uhm okay. attach your email address then

hello, just want to be friends.. im (name) | err friends with?

ie… i like u… can we be friends? | hindi pa nga tayo nagkikita friends na

hell my friend! | hell to you too!

muzta man ikaw i hope wil be agud frens… | agud frens?

hello.. sexy goodlooking guy here.. got cp no.? how will i know ikaw nasa pic?san picface mo? | uhm dude, my profile has like, 30 photos, all face pics of me!

i like you nd your body | uhm okay, thanks

hi po chat nman teo minsan kasi im a lady boy heress my ym (ym id) and my frenzter | please don’t make me lose my respect for our transgendered friends

hi there musta care to be friends? | hi there i don’t care

hi can u b my frend!!!!!im (name) frm zamboanga city!!!!!!! | ah no!!!!!!!!

can i add u as ma fwend? by d way im nikko? and u r? | ano to friendster?

one of the cutiest guy ive eveah seen here…. can we be fwnds?:) | CUTIEST? ano yon?

hi….friends… how r u?cp#? | I’m friendly

ie.. (name) here hope 2 see u soon and 2 be ur frnd thnx.. here s my no. 09********* if ever you want 2 talk 2 jst txt me okey hehehe thnx..hope u rply asap hehehe thnx again ask lng do u have partner? | hindi tayo masyado demanding for a reply no?

hi there musta? care to be friends? hope so thanks! pls reply!! | eh sa ayoko eh

elow (name) 2..+63920******** txt for frendz.. | txt for frendz? abgong service yan?

i like to be a friend. | friend to yourself? then to yourself be a friend

Can be friend…were are u…give me your fon no…TQ | NW - no way

hello im (name) 20 years old from philippines… how are you? hope we cud be friends… | parang sasali lang sa pageant ah

elow there!!! wish to be ur frend…hehehe | sumulat kay Vicky Morales

elow po… wanna meet? | elow din poe, sory pow busy me eh!

On Marketing and Merchandising
I understand that people can use the Internet for whatever purpose or reason it will serve them best. But please, spare me the offers as (I put in my profiles) I am not interested. If I want to watch porn, I have about 100GB worth of porn on my hard drive, so no thanks to vcds. If I want to get a massage, I’d go to a legitimate spa (Excelsior Spa), or if I want to pay for sex, uhm why again should I pay for sex? And if I want to buy miniature bahay-kubos… WHY THE F*CK would I want to buy one?

Hi bro,i do whole body massage combination of swedish,shiatsu,reflex and accupressure 400 here in my place call me | ang mahal naman! sa legit spa 350 lang may sauna and unlimited juice pa!

Hi! Would you like to meet interesting guys (e.g. foreigners, multilinguals, etc) and learn ANY language the EASY, EXCITING and ENTERTAINING WAY (i.e. through POP CULTURE through popular music, films, shows, jokes etc) for as low as P1,900? | Thanks but I have what people call THE INTERNET!

u want vcd m2m clear copy , 150pesos per title, u can mit me personally. txt me | Marami na ako niyan… and still downloading

sama ka na sa outing namin this saturday…. il give you special rate/discount… if you want great pictures and a great vacation! | Bakit may special discount? May kikita ba sa outing na ito?

hi i just want to offer u a massage let me know if ur interested thanks 500pesos whole body massage im from makati also (street name here). thanks have a niceday. | isa ka pa!

cheers dude 091******** masseur of sta ana manila | cheers din

inter\ested for m2m collections text me | eto rin isa pa!

On Relationships, Meet-ups and Sex
Some say that the Internet, or online dating at the very least, has replaced actual dating. And many people actually believe that they will find the loves of their life through the Internet. For some, the search is on and it’s on the net! The search is… on! And many of our dear friends actually believe in the aggressive approach by asking (some just state it) point-blank for a relationship.

Just because I’m online and in within a 10-mile radius from you, it doesn’t mean I wanna meet up with you. When people ask for meet-ups they should at least be decent enough to ask nicely and to at least show me why I would be interested in meeting up with them - not give me their email address so I can check it out on Friendster (pinagod pa ako, no?).

And the sex? Oh trust me, some can get too aggressive to the point of being scary (and I’m not referring to the pics alone.) Some people could definitely use some caffeine (para nerbyosin naman kahit papano!)!

i like u… for ltr here. | i like me too

can be my bf now? | now agad? hindi pwede tomorrow?

Hi. Wanna come over and hang out at my place along (outskirts of Makati) , Makati t’night? | Ang layo naman!

hi … hows you?hehehe looking fowrd to meet you? if its ok… | am i funny?

Dude nasa manila me bukas submit ng report sa work malapit sa (building name) wanna meet sa mall of asia? may place kba? sex tau before me leaving manila? heres my # men 092********
i have a sun also txt me upp! tnx | dami mo naman demands!

wanna mit??ppunta kasi me ng ayala mmya ng 6pm..may cel # kb mas mganda kng sun pra mkpg usap tyo..her’s my pic | ah dahil papunta ka ng ayalam dapat may sun ako!

hard anal sex, bro. call me up 091******** | ano yun?

hi there. good sucker ka ba? | | I wouldn’t know, I haven’t sucked myself yet

fuck tayo bro.. | ikaw na lang

kantutin mo ako pare | uhm read my profile, not into SEBs here

lets have sex hehehe joke lang po | joke lang?

wish ko lng na efuck mo ko. | sumulat ka rin kay Vicky Morales ha?

hi i want to suck and fuck you, straight to the point, if interested email me will send you my face picture | straight to the point? pano yun?

On Random Messages
And then there are those random messages that make me shout Huwaaaaaaaat?

: any1 near san juan?/ pm me | ano to mIRC?

u dont luk lyk a gay.. hehe | so what’s “a gay” supposed to look like?

cute m nmn love na kita no. ko po 091******** | grabe ka naman, love agad

nice pix…. i hope we can get along..’ tc,… | iI’m sure you’ll get along well with my pics

wonderfull nigth.in the side you can find me. | ano raw?

hello im (name) simpel and romantic gay my pic www.******. thnk’s mwahhh | simpel and romantic, halata sa pic mo

hi po, tag san ka po | the profile says I’m from Makati. sana maruning tayong umintindi no?

hi…top here… nasl and cel pls?! i rili like you | so your point? because you’re top and you rili like me, i’ll give you mmy number? and NASL? check out the profile dude, it’s all there!