I’m Gay, Got a Problem With That?

One Night and 3 Manila Gay Bars (Part 1)

Note: For purposes of this entry, gay bar will refer to a club/bar catering to gay men and straight women and this bar has what most people know as a macho dancer. For an easier reference point, let’s just say that a gay bar is the equivalent of our straight men’s girly bars cum nightclubs.

This may come as a shock to many, but prior to this entry, I have never been to a gay bar! I have been to quite a few girly bars (most of which were in Fields Ave., Clark Field Pampanga) with some old (straight) friends. Ah, those were the straight days!  I’ve seen women (which I formerly referred to as “chicks”) clad in skimpy outfits and in various states of undress.  I’ve seen them gyrate to numerous remixes of Careless Whisper.  I have “tabled” one or two of them.  I have…  Let’s leave that grossly uninteresting past and move on.

Yes, I have seen all that, but I have never been to a Gay Bar! When friends talk about gay bars and their experiences in them, my mind used the substitution technique so I could at least relate to the gay bar stories.  Instead of seeing those “chicks” I have seen before,  I replace them with hot, hunky men in various states of undress and gyrating to endless remixes of Careless Whisper. It worked for me and I just looked forward to that time when I’d be able to go to a gay bar.

Until one night in January…

One of my friends is getting married next month and it is imperative that we throw her a bachelorette party/bridal shower, and we’re throwing it tonight!  We started planning the shower in November of last year — venue, food, invitees, program, games, stripper, etc. January came and almost everything was in place. Then at the very last minute, the stripper we were able to hire was no longer available — we couldn’t get a hold of him anymore!  His phone couldn’t be reached and he wouldn’t reply to text messages.

We did not want to throw a bachelorette party without a stripper! So in the hopes of finding our stripper, some of us (4 gay men, 2 straight women) decided that we took the matter in hour hands and go to where the guys works (as a macho dancer) to hire him again.  In case he wasn’t available, we would just get another stripper.

So off we went to Timog in Quezon City to find our stripper.  All we knew about him was that his name was G (name withheld) and that he works at Gigolo bar. G was the stripper at one of our friends’ friend’s bridal shower and he got positive reviews from the attendees of the said party.

Not a single person in the group has ever been to a gay bar before so we were a bit scared and excited at the idea of actually going inside one.

As we traveled along Timog, we had our eyes on the lookout for a sign that said “Gigolo” or anything that resembles it.  We knew Chicos and Adonis were located somewhere in front of the GMA 7 Network Center, but we didn’t know where Gigolo was. After a complete round along Timog, we still couldn’t locate Gigolo so we decided to stop and ask where it was located.  We learned that Gigolo no longer existed and that it was replaced by another bar.

We didn’t want to go to any other bar so we decided to just go to the bar that one guy said was Gigolo – Maginoo. Maginoo eh? Maginoo is located along Timog Avenue, and close to the corner of Sgt. Esguerra. Initially, we did not want to go inside because after all, we were just gonna ask them if the bar was indeed the new Gigolo. A tall transvestite, the floor manager, went outside the bar and talked to us.  We asked her if this was Gigolo and she explained that Gigolo has closed down a long time ago and that some of their “models” now worked for Maginoo. We asked about G, and she told us G has been  absent from work for the past couple of days. With this new information thrown at our faces, we all concurred that it was best to just hire someone else.

We asked “Mommy Vanessa” — the floor manager — how much their rates were. The amount she gave us was way off our budget and we asked her if she could lower their rate.  She went inside, asked the OIC, and came back to us saying that it was not possible.  We told her that G offered a much lower rate.  She explained to us that he might have accepted the offer without the bar’s management knowledge, hence the lower rate. Mommy Vanessa convinced us some more and invited us to check out their other models and see if we still wanted a lower rate and still wanted G.

The Aquarium
So all six of us, gay bar virgins, trooped inside the gay bar like kindergartens holding each other’s hands as if we were entering a horror house. We were led into a dimly-lit room with tables, chairs and couches arranged strategically in front of a stage where a “model” – still-fully clothed dancing to the tune of some music that now escapes my mind. There were patrons everywhere too – the “discreet” types, some oldies, and quite a surprising number of women. We walked right past the stage and headed into a much darker room.

The first thing I noticed was a glass panel lit with an incandescent light from the inside. Ah, this must be their version of the “aquarium.” I saw about 15 (or more) men in black tank tops (with exception of two or three who were wearing either gray or white tops). I was hesitant to move closer and check them out but the hotness emanating from that glass panel consumed me.  Mommy Vanessa then told us to take a look at all of them and see if we liked any.  All of them were available on the date of our bridal shower, she quipped. So I came closer and saw a wide range of hotness.  Hot men in different shapes and sizes! When I started tracing those bulging muscles from the tank top down, I jerked with silly laughter — all of them were wearing pekpek denim shorts.  And I thought only women wore them!

My friends and I then started brainstorming on the issue of which guy we wanted for the bridal shower.  After bringing it down to three finalists (parang beauty pageant lang no?), we were in a standstill.  We couldn’t decide who among the three we wanted.  Then we looked at them some more – with every detail of their bodies and faces in consideration.  We brought it down to just two finalists – the lean, tall Chinito who looked like he couildn’t hurt a fly (and kinda looked gay), and the bulky, hunky, mambabarurot hottie. It was a tough decision to make so we asked Mommy Vanessa if we could just head ot and talk about it.

After what seemed like an eon of discussions outside the bar, by the car, we all decided that the rate was too high. If we could get a lower rate, we would go with the lean, tall Chinito.  However, the night was still young and we couldn’t make up our minds and the rate was still at the original, so we told Mommy V (we’re that tight by this time) that we’ll be back after we scout at some other bar.

We hopped on to the car and started driving along the neon-lit road, with a recently-taken mental picture of Timog at night. We headed to our next destination: a bar with a name we all were sure was a gay bar… (to be continued)

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