Bakla Ako, May Reklamo?

A hottie walks right by you in the mall. You’re taken aback. His looks definitely will knock you off and make you wish he was gay. You look at him from the corner of your eyes. Then you stop on your tracks to gawk at him. Okay, not gawk, just observe. Then in a split-second he does something you deem gayly suspicious. He notices you looking at him, looks at you. You notice a grin on his face. You think to yourself: “Is he one of us?” The grin on his face turns into a wide smile. He waves at you (or so you wanted to believe) then walks closer to you. You prepare your most decent and catchy pick-up line. He walks closer. Two meters… two steps. You arm yourself with a big friendly smile. You hold your right hand up ready for a handshake. Then he walks pass you and says hi… not to you but to a very pretty waif woman behind you.

Earth swallow me now. You think to yourself. How you wished you were right when you thought that hunk of a beef was gay like you. With cold sweat trickling through your freshly-threaded brows, you run for the exit. This is the first time your gaydar failed you.

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But what is a gaydar? Do all gay men have it? Is this gaydar “exclusive” to people of our kind?

Gaydar is viewed by many as an ability to tell whether another person is gay (or bisexual). Only a few scientific researches have been conducted to prove the existence of such. The word gaydar is a combination of the words gay and radar. Practically anyone can have it, but in most cases, only gay men (and women) and their fag hags have it.

This gaydar seems to have taken its origin from the cliche “It takes one to know one.” For those who claim to have this ability, it is more of “It takes one to know them all.”

Pure intuition and indirect sense are the major factors on which this gaydar relies. It’s like having a microchip in your body automatically identifying people with the same sexual orientation as you do. Some people even claim to know other gay men in the vicinity just by feeling the vibe in the air. In Filipino swardspeak, the line Ten miles pa lang amoy ko na siya [I could sense his gayness ten miles away] is alluded to the possession of this gaydar.

In some cases though, relies on sensitivity to certain mannerisms and behavior associated with the gay lifestyle: clothes, color palette, hairstyle, accessories, shoes, the swagger and even the tone, pitch and pace of the voice. Vanity in grooming habits is also a factor.

So who has the gaydar and who doesn’t? Contrary to popular belief, not all gay men have a gaydar. Although studies have shown that homosexual males are better at telling whether other people are gay or not. Do we all have this innate ability to identify homosexuals?
The answer is yes and no. Some people have it, some don’t.

Fag Hags and Fag Stags (or straight women and men, respectively, who are in the same social circle or closely associate themselves with gay men) may also possess this ability. To what extent, we don’t know for sure.

In a study conducted in 2005 by a Harvard student, William Lee Adams, for his undergaduate thesis, he found out that it took about two seconds for gay men to decide whether a person was straight or not, even with minimal information given about the subjects. Adams adds that gay men often face isolation, depression and anxiety and gaydar may be a coping mechanism. I think if people who have the same hidden longing for affectation and relationships get in the same room, even without talking, would feel the vibe and the subconscious association in the gaywaves air.

If you have the gaydar, you know perfectly well that it doesn’t work all the time and there may be hits and misses. One thing’s for sure though, whenever you see a gorgeous man, you can always ask yourself, “Is he one of us?”

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