Bakla Ako, May Reklamo?

I watched Ang Lihim Ni Antonio (directed by Jay Altarejos) not knowing anything about the movie at all. I’m not gonna write a review about it, instead, I will write something resembling a college reaction paper. You see, I’ve never been really good at doing reviews so I’ll leave reviewing up to the experts.

…

…I haven’t really entered a cinema and watched a movie by myself (the first and last time I did that, if I remember correctly, was Stuart Little 1!) so just getting inside the cinema alone was a feat in itself. But that’s a different story altogether. Let’s get on with my reaction paper.

The film, as a whole, was good but it could be better. The title of this “reaction paper” says that Antonio’s secret is my secret too — the reason for which, I will reveal later on.

(Spoilers ahead)

Dahil Nega Ako
I’m almost always nega when it comes to reactions to films so forgive me if I seem too nitpicky. I always tend to look at the inconsistencies and the minor technical issues (of which I know nothing about) that bother me. So let’s begin with those boring technicals that I seem to be obsessed about.

I was just wondering why Antonio (played by newcomer Kenjie Garcia) just left his bike in front of the Internet shop when he accompanied his mom to go “mamalengke” and didn’t even bother to go back for it, much less ask a friend to bring it home for him.

The walk from the Internet shop (at least the mom, Tere, portrayed by the ultra-talented Shamaine Buencamino, said it correctly and did not refer to it as a “cafe”) to the ATM seemed like it was a very long one — thanks, or no thanks, to the abrupt change in lighting.

Pamamalengke, as I saw in the film, meant buying shoes. Yun pala yon! (I’m sorry, I’m really so into small and seemingly irrelevant details).

Another small detail that bothered me quite a bit was the purpose of that girl who walked into the Internet shop, went to the cashier area, then went to talk to Antonio for about five seconds, then left the shop. Huwatda? If her character was meant to establish that Antonio is just one of the guys, then I’d say that it was quite unnecessary. Her character’s actions were uhm, not justified.

Jiro Manio’s character, Mike, seemed like a cool friend but I think it’s a far cry from society. Sure, we can give him the benefit of the doubt as being someone so open-minded and all that, but it was a bit too much. If all gay men had friends like that, then we all are lucky. However, there’s a difference between being open to other friends’ sexual reality and being too extremely open to the point of taking the liberty to do research. You may hate me for this, but I daresay that no straight guy in that age group, in this society, even during these times, would be that willing to take on what seems like an inter-disciplinary research about homosexuality.

The film’s ending was unnecessarily heavy. The movie’s pace was maintained well from the beginning to about three-quarters of the movie. Then it all went downhill from there. The father’s other family (channeling lyrics from Evita: My father’s other family were middle class, and we were kept out of sight, hidden from view at his funeral…) was all too expected, and so was Tere’s reaction to this information. It was a good thing that Buencamino is a very good actress but I think those scenes were wasted. There was too much weight put on the resolution of Tere’s story in the end, which is quite surprising because it did not balance off the building up of her story. Tere’s relationship with her husband was built along the sidelines of her son Antonio’s inner journey, but it was misused as a catalyst for the sad ending of the film.

I may sound too nega now, but I think the ending should have just been Antonio screaming and showing restraint against his Tito Jonbert (hot! hot! hot! played by Josh Ivan Morales - I heart you Josh Ivan Morales!). Then fade to credits. If the filmmakers wanted a sad ending (which seems like the “in” thing among many indie filmmakers nowadays), then that screaming-then-fade-to-credits bit would have sufficed. But no, they took it to another level which made the film quite complicated. Doing away without the murder end scene would have resolved the film basing on its title. Having a mother-and-son murdering tandem that later on gets too publicized is just way overdone for an ending.

There’s a lot more minute details that caught my ire for about two seconds, but I’ll let go of those and channel the inner kind gay man in me.

Why It’s My Secret Too
The film, despite its inconsistencies and continuity issues, is actually good. At least for me, it was. Most of it reflects the realities of the coming of age of a boy. It shows us what many gay boys experience as they begin their journey from being a young boy to a gay man.

I can, as I’m sure many other gay men out there, relate with Antonio’s character. Some of us have our own gapang moments with our close friends while we were in the experimental stage in our gay lives. Yes, I admit that I have had that experience with a friend, and like Antonio and Nathan, we have not spoken about it and the issue is still unresolved - even now, 10 years later. There was a falling out between us but I later learned that he was in fact gay even before we had a gapangan moment. Nag inarte lang siyang hindi siya bakla (He just pretended he wasn’t gay then.)

When I was in first-year college, about 15 years old or so, I started asking the same questions Antonio asked while he was riding his bike around town. And yes, cheesy as it may sound, I too asked if there was a purpose to being gay (may purpose kaya ang pagiging bakla?). I too asked if I were born to different parents, in a different country, in a different era. Like Antonio’s numerous questions in the film (contest: how many questions did Antonio ask throughout the film?), not all of my questions have been answered, and I doubt if they will all be answered before I die. That’s the reality of life. My life at least.

Like Antonio, and like many gay men out there, I too have secrets. Some of them may be revealed in time. Some of them have been revealed. Some of them exposed in the film. And this is why I can say that the film was good (but could have been better): Antonio represents me, a gay man, living in this age and in this society.

And that my friends is why Ang lihim ni Antonio ay lihim ko rin.

For those who have not seen the film yet:

Ang Lihim ni Antonio screening schedule (as of February 26, 2008)
Robinsons Galleria Cinema 2, Ortigas Center

12:40 PM
3:00 PM
5:15 PM
7:30 PM
9:45 PM

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